Tuesday, November 08, 2005

My Father's Latest Joke!

I heard the following joke from my Father this weekend.

There once lived a family of balloons; Daddy Balloon; Mummy Balloon and Baby Balloon. They all lived very happily in a snug little honeysuckle and ivy covered cottage in the woods.

When Baby Balloon had just been an air bubble, he shared his parent's bed, but now he had blown up, and they could not all share the same bed, so Daddy Balloon bought Baby (or should I say, Toddler) Balloon his own bed.

At first, Toddler Balloon was very excited, and before going to bed, he arranged all his toys and balloon pumps around the bed to make him feel snug. All was well, and at bed-time Daddy Balloon took him up to his new bed to go to sleep. He told Toddler Balloon some of his favorite stories: the Zepplin Histories; the Discovery of Gas; Gone with a Bang (this one is a bit of a horror story) and Up, Up and Away. Daddy Balloon settled him down, and very soon he was asleep.

Some time during the night, Toddler Balloon woke up, and was a little frightened being in the bed and room by himself. He got up, relieved the pressure in his bladder and went into his parents bedroom. Toddler Balloon wanted to get back into his parents bed.

First he went round to Daddy Balloon's side of the bed, but he had taken up all the space, so he went round to Mummy Balloon's side, but there was no room there either. Toddler Balloon then had a great idea. He went round to Daddy Balloon and let a little air out of him, then he did the same with Mummy Balloon. Unfortunately, there was still not enough room, so he opened his own valve and let some air out. Now he could fit into the bed.

In the morning, Daddy Balloon was very cross. At breakfast he confronted Toddler Balloon. He said, "Look son, I am very disappointed with you. You've let me down, you've let your mother down, and worst of all, you've let yourself down."

I just want to point out that I have been subject to this type of humour for over fifty years, and I consider it cruel and unusual humiliation. (P.S. I know the photo has 4 balloons in it, - it's the only picture I could find! Photo courtesy of fotosearch.com).


Eddie said...

I trust Toddler Balloon was suitably deflated after his telling off!
My Dad used to recite a poem tastefully entitled, "The Grand Farting Contest at Stockton-On-Tees," he couldn't do it without laughing until the tears streamed down his face.
Apart from this silly poem, I never heard him use any bad language or sexual innuendo.
I could never understand what caused this strange,(for him), behaviour. Dads heh!

sandegaye said...

Storytelling is a dying art. Good for your dad for passing on that inflated but funny story.

None said...

Hot dog, your dad's on a roll! (See, I've been subjected to some corny stuff myself.)

Mark said...

I could relate more. We've got a history of telling "shaggy Dog" stories in our family. The general aim is to weave the most eloborate story you can, suck them into the story, and then hit them with the most corny of endings, - the worse the better.

Billy said...

like the blog toddler bed

Anonymous said...

Hi Mark,
My 88 year old father in law also used to recite a poem called "The Grand Farting Contest at Stockton-On-Tees"
Do you know where I could find a copy?

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